Transformers. The age of extinction review

"It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever..."

Thirty years ago, Kyle Reese offered those words of warning to heroine Sarah Connor in James Cameron's iconic sleeper hit The Terminator.

Having endured the fourth movie in Michael Bay's Transformers saga, it seems an apt description for a cast iron money-making machine.

The film series can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't fear critics, or logic. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you, dear film goer, stop (paying).

I've sat through the previous movies and was lucky enough to attend the LA premiere ofTransformers: The Ride, so more due to needing a rainy day movie than any desire, I settled down for Bay's latest slice of formulaic adventure.

The usual sights and sounds abounded.

• Heroes running away from huge explosions in slow motion.
• Uber photogenic pouty heroine in short shorts being ogled by the camera.
• Robots ripping each other apart in slow motion.
• Robots transforming to deliver a bit of exposition.
• Characters stating the obvious before enacting said dialogue. "We've got to lose them in this corn field", before, er, motoring through a corn field to try and lose the villains.
• Cool sound effects, with the exception of Mark Wahlberg's laser gun, which sounded like an asthmatic penguin.
• Bay reworking the Armageddon sub-plot - over protective father warming to his prospective son-in-law after bonding over death-defying extra terrestrial threat.
• A seemingly endless final battle so long some punters staggered from the cinema like they'd been stuck on a transatlantic flight.
• A couple of great character actors (Kelsey Grammer and Stanley Tucci) possibly thinking of the cash while adding some depth to the lightweight plot.
• Comedy characters slotted in to add some levity to the explosions. In this case a chubby Jurassic Park/Dennis Nedry-style Brit boffin. Fat guys. Always funny in Producer Steven Spielberg's world.
• Oh, and Optimus Prime's recurring monologues about nobility... having wrecked a couple of major cities. In one scene he rides a Dinobot through a small Chinese wall, despite the fact he could have leapt it or gone round it.

Ah yes. The Dinobots and China. Kids love dinosaurs and robots, so it was a no-brainer we'd get those toys making an appearance in the franchise at some point. 
And with China being such a lucrative market, a third act which sees most of the country levelled was a smart move to keep those overseas cash tills ringing.

The Transformers Ride launch, Universal, LA

How does it rank against the other three films? Well it's possibly the best TF movie since the 2007 original. Long, yes; occasionally incoherent, (Mark Wahlberg seems to ignore full stops in his script), and it features some awful CGI - the enemy robots are made from gravity-defying blocks that appear to have no weight or heft, making them look like a bad video game cut scene.

However, as epic cinema goes, it was never dull. Irritating at times, especially during those obligatory Bay sunset scenes and the attention deficit disorder shots which cut every few seconds. 
(The obsession with super cars was like a feature-length Top Gear challenge, only without the wit. 
Only in a Michael Bay film can a Bugatti Veyron look mundane because of all the other super cars on show).

However, compared to Transformers 2 and 3, this was a slight improvement. A little like a (robot) bull in a slightly classier China shop.

Prometheus

Under the Skin The Review

How much exposition do you need in a film? Those clunky scenes when characters discuss plot, stitching Scene A to Scene B? Obviously film is a visual medium, so in theory nobody needs say anything. 

In Under the Skin, director Jonathan Glazer decides less is definitely more, keeping dialogue to a minimum as Scarlett Johansson’s alluring alien arrives in Scotland and begins patrolling the streets for men. 

In short, it’s Species with A-levels. 

There are bound to be comparisons with Nic Roeg’s the Man Who Fell to Earth, the last time an intelligent, erotic, surreal study of an alien’s arrival on Earth made such an impact. That was almost 40 years ago. 

Since then we've had plenty of alien visitor movies, but many were teen-friendly offerings designed to make pots of cash or satires such as Brother From Another Planet and Morons From Outer Space. 

Glazer had spent a decade developing the movie, distilling the source novel down to its purest form. And the result is disturbing, mesmerising and unforgettable. 

Johansson is terrific in one of the boldest roles of her career. Initially a predatory, blank avatar unaffected by empathy, her visitor merely exists to trap men and use them.

’Why’ would be spoilerific. 

How she does it is part Hellraiser; asking guys back to her dingy house where they are understandably seduced, and then live to regret it. 

Through it all the soundtrack throbs and pulses. The camera largely taking a back seat as we watch the visitor watching the locals, searching for her next target. 

It's as voyeuristic as Rear Window or Blue Velvet, and just as compelling. 

Arguably the best scene involves a loner with “nice hands”, as affecting as anything you've seen all year. It's at this point Johansson’s lethal ET starts to gain a degree of humanity. 

Yes, I could describe more of the plot, who the nice handed character is, and lots more, but better to let the movie wash over you. 

UTS is a haunting, waking dream of a movie. It may have made a modest impact at the cinema, grossing a couple of million dollars in the States alone, but given the limited number of screens it played on, and the arty sensibilities, there's perhaps little wonder. 

Like all cult films, it will prove far more indelible than tent pole movies which dominate the opening weekend box office then vanish without a trace. 

Hopefully we won't have to wait another decade for Glazer’s follow up. He's too great a talent to languish in whatever limbo space ScarJo’s alien was born from. 

 

22 Jump Street. The review

The beauty of 21 Jump Street was it was a movie version of a TV series hardly anyone was desperate to see. 

The only place it could go was up, and was surprisingly hilarious.

So at the start of the sequel, 22 Jump Street, we wonder how much comedy is left to mine from that seam of TV-inspired nostalgia.

Surprisingly there's plenty, not least because the knowing script is happy to poke fun at the fact it's exactly the same plot, only this time set at college instead of school.

Once more, dream team Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum are superb as the old school enemies turned rookie cop mates.

In a thrilling opener reminiscent of Beverly Hills Cop, Morton Schmidt (Hill) and Greg Jenko (Tatum) pursue a group of drug dealers led by Ghost (Peter Stormare). 
A truck chase that is both exciting and funny is rare, and this is both.

They fail in spectacular fashion, so Deputy Chief Hardy (the ever brilliant Nick Offerman)sends our heroes across the street to work for Captain Dickson (Ice Cube). Their mission: go undercover as college students and find the drug supplier of "WHYPHY" which killed a student who apparently bought it on campus.

Jenko befriends football players Zook (Wyatt Russell) and Rooster (Jimmy Tatro), while Schmidt falls for art student, Maya (Amber Stevens), much to the annoyance of her grumpy roommate Mercedes (Jillian Bell).

To reveal much more would be spoilerific. Safe to say, nothing is as it seems on campus; there are red herrings aplenty, one literal, while the comic timing is superb.

Having seen it after the woeful A Million Ways To Die in the West, which is often cruel and leaden in its delivery, there's a joy to the energy here.

The film-makers treat the audience with a degree of respect, and even though many of the gags seemed to go over the heads of many teenage cinema goers, for a fan of meta comedy such as Mike Myers' finest works, this was like catnip.

Hill may have dropped the ball with some comedies over the years (The Watch for example), but following his superb turn in The Wolf of Wall Street, here he's terrific as the likeable co-lead, the yin to Tatum's nice but dim yang, Jenko. 
The latter is happy to send himself up, not least with a great in-joke about the wonderfully silly White House Down, while his eventual reaction to a character (spoiler) half way through is comedy gold.

He also looks superb in the breathless action scenes, running, jumping, brawling. Okay, Hillmay be the star when they tour the interview circuit, but Tatum is a genuine movie star when it counts.

This may be a lads' comedy, but the two female co-stars, Amber Stevens and Jillian Bell, are brilliant: the former an even cuter, younger Zoe Saldana-alike; the latter a funnier, youngerMelissa McCarthy-alike. If there's any justice both will be in a possible 23 Jump Street and no doubt plenty of other Hollywood offerings in the coming years.

Superbly helmed by Phil Lord and Chris Miller, two of THE most reliable comedy directors working today, this is the perfect antidote to any spring or summertime blues.

Recommended.

 

Follow Roger Crow on Twitter: www.twitter.com/RogerCrow

Captain America: the Winter Soldier Review

Given the advanced reviews for Captain America: the Winter Soldier, I expected it was going to be one of the best Marvel films so far.

Maybe because I had just sat through Martin Scorsese's three-hour epic The Wolf of Wall Street, or maybe because the premiere was at midnight, but the sequel didn't grab me as much as I wanted it to.

It certainly ticks all the boxes when it comes to epic set pieces and impressive visuals. Alas, after a while I tired of the blurry hand-to-hand combat, and was a little bored during the third act, which felt too much like the deafening heli-carrier battle from Avengers Assemble.
(My spellcheck aptly changed that to 'headache' carrier.)

Okay, there is much to admire about Joe and Anthony Russo's film. The shadowy Three Days of the Condor/Jason Bourne style-plot marked a welcome change for a superhero epic.
But the sight of Robert Redford, with that extraordinary hair, giving a rather lacklustre performance, left me colder than Christmas.

Chris Evans is good, not great as Steve Rogers; Scarlett Johannson sexier than ever asNatasha Romanov, and Samuel L Jackson on good form as Nick Fury, as usual.
(Fans of SLJ's work will spot a nice little in-joke during a graveyard scene).

There are also good support turns from Jenny Agutter and Colbie Smulders, but it's just a pity that Neighbours veteran Alan Dale pops up and spoils any tension as a World Council member.

I did get a frisson of excitement like a child on Christmas morning when Steve and Nickentered a hangar with heli-carriers, but for me there were none of those moments like in the first film when I was moved as selfless Steve threw himself on a grenade.

In a previous blog, I said the problem with Capt America is partly down to Chris Evans. He hasn't got the acting chops to carry a film of the scale, but having seen the film the key problem is the fact that Cap is just not that great a hero. A little too goody goody for my tastes, and although he acts as a great foil for warriors like Iron Man and Thor, as the star of his own show he is a little disappointing.

One great addition to the Marvel universe is Anthony Mackie's Falcon. As a fan of the Capt America comics, it was great to see this iconic supporting character finally given his big screen chance.
Admittedly, some of his aerial action scenes tended to grate a little after a while, but Mackieis a great actor and I wouldn't mind seeing him in the upcoming Avengers: Age of Ultron or the inevitable Cap 3.

Stay tuned for the inevitable credits teaser for one of the next big Marvel films and some rather cool closing titles.
It's certainly not the worst film you'll see all year, but it could have been so much better.

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Thor: the Dark World review

A bearded hero with a magical weapon on a planet of noble warriors clashes with an army of masked, laser-blasting invaders. 

Thirty years ago Krull, a British mash-up of sub-Tolkien mythology and Star Wars-style effects was launched on an unsuspecting world. 

Alas, the hero was rather bland, the cheap effects a bit rubbish (even for ’83), and the likes of pre-Eastenders Todd Carty, post-Carry On Bernard Bresslaw and a badly dubbed Lysette Anthony failed to make the project fly. 

Fast forward to now, and in Thor: the Dark World, a bearded hero with a magical hammer on a planet of noble warriors clashes with an army of masked, laser-blasting invaders. Only this time Marvel (with a far greater budget admittedly) hit the blockbuster nail squarely on the head.  

Chris Hemsworth is so perfectly cast as the eponymous Asgardian warrior it's hard to imagine anyone else filling those boots. The slightest smirk creates screen gold. (The god of thunder and charisma might be more on the money). 

With a snazzy new Marvel logo, Thor 2 hits the ground running with an epic battle, and escalates from there. 

Fans of the original should revel in the scale; director Alan Taylor exploits the skills learned on Game of Thrones to craft a 12A-friendly epic, hammering the various plot strands together to form a fun, frantic, dark, occasionally moving yarn. 

Anthony Hopkins can be annoying when phoning in his performances, but here adds gravitas as Odin; ’One Broke Scientist’ Kat Dennings delivers comic relief as Natalie Portman's sexy assistant Darcy; Idris Elba is given more screen time as gate keeper Helmdal, and the Warriors Three also return from film one.

As ever, Tom Hiddleston chews chunks of scenery as Loki; aside from Robert Downey Jnr’s Tony Stark, few actors are as funny or mischievous in the Marvel universe. 

(A Thor movie without Loki is as pointless as a Spider Man flick without Peter Parker). 

Rounding out the regulars are Stellan Skargard as boffin Erik Selvig, still a bit bonkers after being possessed in Avengers. 

Christopher Eccleston is on good form as the malevolent big bad Malekith, spouting Elvish dialogue, while his ship is gloriously ominous and aptly hammer-like. 

Assembling the multi-film plot strands from Thor and Assemble, this is huge fun. 

There's little doubt Marvel have mastered the modern blockbuster, melding great heroes, villains and effects with the brio of the original Star Wars and JJ’s Star Trek. 

Okay, Thor 2.0 is not perfect. Portman looks gorgeous, but her character is too wholesome and sadly a bit dull. Maybe thunder-wielding Gods need partners that are safe and yawnsome. 

I'd rather have seen Thor romance Darcy or Asgard squeeze Sif. (The latter’s sub-plot sadly goes nowhere fast, but may pay off in Thor 3). 

However, seen at midnight in 3D D-Box, TTDW was a pre-Hallowe’en treat. 

It also made me delighted that as a forty something, I lived long enough to see the comic heroes of my youth given the big screen epics they deserve.

Stay tuned for a couple of cracking credit cookies; the final one is rewarding and hilarious. 

Roll on Captain America: Winter Soldier, Guardians of the Galaxy and Ant-Man, and let's hope we don't have to wait an age for the inevitable Dr Strange, Sub-Mariner and Silver Surfer movie. 

 

Escape Plan - The Review

 

I had no burning desire to see Escape Plan, the new action thriller starring Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger. 

However, when it's your day off and it looks like the best thing on offer at your local multiplex, it may as well be worth a look.

The fact I read the timing wrong, and thought it was supposed to start half an hour before it did, made me think I'll watch something else instead.

However, the rather enthusiastic, animated Cineworld employee was so enthusiastic about the movie, I thought I'll hang around for half an hour and give it the benefit of the doubt.

I'm glad I did.

In the first 20 minutes, we are asked to believe that Sly is an expert on prison security.

He tests the integrity of prisons by becoming an inmate and then attempts to break out, thereby exposing any weakness in the security.

More often than not he succeeds, and gets a big fat pay cheque.

However, when he is asked to test out a new maximum security stockade, Sly can't resist, and soon regrets it.

The tracker planted inside him is soon removed, and Sly loses contact with his colleagues in the outside world.

(Let's face it, it wouldn't be much of a movie if he managed to break out in the next 10 minutes).

Sly soon incurs wrath of psycho prison warden (there is always one) Jim Caviezel and his right-hand man/henchman Vinnie Jones.

(I fear we'll have a long wait to see Vinnie play Hamlet, but when it comes to playing psycho thugs, Jones is in a league of his own).

While making assorted enemies on the inside, Sly befriends unhinged Austrian Arnie. 

Schwarzenegger has a ball with this movie. Whether ranting in his native language, or coming out with some salty, over the top one-liners, he is clearly better as a supporting actor these days than carrying his own film. Maybe he should keep the goatee, as it's a fine facial addition to the Austrian Oak.

For the first two thirds, Escape Plan is great fun. The one thing that's missing is the generic shoot out we have come to expect from two of the biggest stars of 80s action cinema.

In fact, the lack of gunfire is rather welcome.

So by the time the third act kicks in, the director resorts to type by giving Sly and Arnie high powered weapons, and resorting to the usual cliches of shootouts, gunfire and witty epithets when villains are dispatched.

Escape Plan, previously named The Tomb, might not be the sort of film you're desperate to rush out and see on day one. However, when it’s released on Blu-ray chances are it will shift truckloads of units.

(The fact I have been quoting one of Arnie's one-liners all week, is testament to the fact it's great fun).

The leads won't win any Oscars for Best Actors, and the script won't win Best Screenplay, but who cares?

For those of us weaned on First Blood and The Terminator, this is a must see, whether on the biggest screen possible, or on your TV in a a few weeks’ time.

Let’s hope the pumped up pensioners return soon, maybe in a comedy remake of The Sunshine Boys or Grumpy Old Men. 

Pension Plan wouldn't be too bad a title.

Gravity - The Review

A few things will happen while watching Gravity. 

Your palms will become sweaty, then they'll start seeking comfort at the sides of your face. That’s possibly because your breathing will become shallow. This is not the sort of film you can ignore. 

Essentially a two-hander between Sandra Bullock and George Clooney, it charts the aftermath of a disastrous space walk from their shuttle, ravaged by debris. 

The opening 13 minute, one take shot is among the best ever created. 

Orson Welles would have clapped; Martin Scorsese and Brian DePalma either applauded or sulked because director Alfonso Cuaron has aptly raised the bar to orbital levels. 

What Bullock and Clooney do next will not be revealed here. Safe to say what unfolds during the 90 minute running time is an assault course of wires, pipes, machinery and one character's desire to survive. 

The sight of Bullock floating foetus-like in a window is one of the year’s most memorable. 

Sandra has been a favourite actress for 20 years, but has never looked more beautiful, possibly because she is the softest looking protagonist against a sea of tech. Her desire to survive against any odds is also a magnetic attraction. 

George is also hugely appealing. His cocky, charismatic veteran astronaut is wonderfully watchable, though i imagine the endless wire work must have been a pain during the movie’s four year production. 

Some films squander 3D but this makes the most of it, exploiting the medium beautifully. The sound, if heard in the right theatre, is also superb. NASA chatter adds the right audio tone from the off, while Ed Harris’ voice is a great, comforting shorthand for anyone raised on classic NASA epics The Right Stuff and Apollo 13. 

Some of you may wait for Blu Ray or DVD, but this is one of those films that demands the best full-on cinema experience you can find. 

Gravity is little short of a masterpiece. If Sandra Bullock doesn’t get another Oscar, and Cuaron at least a nomination for Best Director, there is going to be some serious gnashing of teeth among the movie-loving community. 

See it... but don’t forget to breathe. 

White House Down - The Review

White House Down won't win any Oscars or Baftas for best film. It will possibly win Razzies, but that's not to say it’s a bad film. 

What it is is two hours of gloriously silly escapism. If I didn't know better I'd say director Roland Emmerich was sending up the Die Hard saga and its countless clones.  

Yes, coming a few months after Olympus Has Fallen, that other Die Hard in the White House-style drama, it does look like a carbon copy, but the difference is that WHD is hugely fun and entertaining. 

(For me, Gerard Butler’s movie was mean spirited and weakly scripted). 

Okay, this newer epic isn't exactly Shakespeare, but it’s bursting with great one liners, such as the exchange between James Woods and a generic terrorist. 

To paraphrase: “Want some cake?” Asks Woods, chomping dessert as well as scenery. 

“No man. I'm diabetic.”

When's the last time in a Die Hard-style thriller you heard an exchange that gloriously flippant?

Then there’s Skip Tyler (Jimmi Simpson), assigned to hack into the White House defence system. He proves to be one of the most flamboyant antagonists, making the most of what could have been a one dimensional character. 

Some supporting characters here could sustain their own short film at least, and Skip is one of them. 

 

Channing Tatum, reminiscent of 80s-era John McClane, is fun and likeable as the similarly monikered John Cale. 

Jamie Foxx lends charm and wit as the Obama in sneakers-style President James Sawyer, while solid support comes from heavyweights such as Woods (who looks like a shoo- in to play J Jonah Jameson in future Spider-Man instalments), Richard Jenkins and the ever engaging Maggie Gyllenhaal. 

Okay, the special effects aren't great. One of the explosions would have looked dated in Emmerich’s 1996 classic Independence Day, which is referenced in the exposition-heavy first act. 

However, all the obvious green screen work and CG crowd scenes don't get in the way of the fun. 

Most of the movie looks like glorious cut scenes from a fun video game anyway. 

Emmerich is a master of the action set piece, and here he's having a great time; a chase on the White House lawn has to be seen to be believed, while there's plenty of soap-style twists and turns to keep you hooked until the finale. 

Remarkably I found the literally flag-waving finale moving, which is absurd considering the overall tone.

Then again, I had watched Rush a couple of hours before, so maybe that had softened me up for any sucker punch moments.  

It remains to be seen whether WHD enjoys the same repeat factor as 2012 on TV, a gloriously guilty pleasure which never fails to engage me on Blu Ray. 

However, on a wet Tuesday afternoon, it proved well worth the price of admission; an epic romp you laugh with instead of giggling at. 

And I for one wouldn't mind seeing Tatum back for another round of terrorist-bashing adventure. 

Or at least a prequel short with hacker Skip Tyler, in the style of Marvel’s One Shot films. 

Alas, given the relatively poor box office returns, I get the feeling we have a long wait for any prequel or sequel.  

You're Next - The Review

In the late 1990s, Wes Craven and Kevin Williamson turned the horror genre on its head with meta serial killer thriller Scream. 

Chances are you know this already because you've seen it. Most people have, but the usual tropes of the genre are more indestructible than Freddie, Jason and Pinhead combined. 

You’re Next, the 2011 low budget stalk-and-slash thriller (finally getting a national release), owes a debt to Scream and countless other genre classics, but I doubt in 10 years filmmakers will be desperate to emulate its scares.

It opens with a couple having sex, so we know they're going to die; there are no actual opening titles as the first victim’s blood spells out the title on a window. 

Then we meet a rich neighbouring family arriving at their remote vacation house. 

Mother Aubrey hears something upstairs and wants to leave. Husband, Paul, investigates, but in one of the best shocks, is startled by his son, Crispian. 

Paul has a few sons, all of them annoying. 

A day later the other offspring and their partners arrive, and during an annoying family row, one of the gathered is shot with a crossbow bolt. 

Despite the windows suddenly being lethal areas, our shocked and stupid protagonists insist on staying as close to them as possible while screaming. A lot. And when there's no screaming, there's that thunderous score turned up to 11. Foghorns blaring at a wake would have been more welcome. 

Aside from that, I'm not sure what was more annoying, the unconvincing acting, zero family dynamic (even for a dysfunctional clan), or weak script. 

However, a John Carpenter-style theme wasn't bad, albeit over-used. 

On the plus side it is laced with dark humour; a wounded victim with a bolt in his back catching it on lethal piano wire was a nice/nasty touch, and death by kitchen appliance helped puncture the tension bubble in the third act. 

For any thriller, credibility is key and this was sorely lacking any because I didn't care about the characters. 

The key twist is obvious when we discover the animal masked killers' motive. However, the third act does claw back some respectability with a flash camera adding fresh licks to the death by strobe cliche, while a door-operated weapon gag tips its hat to A Nightmare on Elm Street. 

Earlier this year The Purge exploited the ’yuppies under siege’ idea more effectively, only that fell apart in the third act. 

This is the reverse, and despite a drawn out finale, and OTT killings by resourceful Aussie heroine Erin (the film’s saving grace, Sharni Vinson), the result is not a complete waste of time. 

With a better cast and some tighter script editing, this could have been something special. 

As it is, You’re Next is just a 90 minute-plus diversion, little more. 

2 Guns - The Review

Knowing nothing about 2 Guns, the new movie starring Denzel Washington and Mark Wahlberg, I had no idea if it would be a thriller, drama or comedy. 

It's essentially all three, and for the most part is a lot of fun. 

It opens with criminals Robert Trench (Denzel) and Michael Stigman (Wahlberg) robbing a bank across from a doughnut shop. 

Thrown into the mix are drug lord Papi Greco (Edward James Olmos),  glam love interest Deb Rees (Paula Patton), Naval officer Harold Quince (James Marsden), and the villainous Earl (Bill Paxton). 

What unfolds during the overlong running time is double crosses galore, characters revealing their true identity, Mexican standoffs, and a lot of hilarious banter between the two leads. 

That's when you can understand what Mark Wahlberg is saying.

His dialogue is so quick fire you can barely make it out, but like Denzel he has charisma in abundance. 

Paula Patton lends much needed female sex appeal; Edward James Olmos is reliably creased and weather beaten, while it ticks over at a fair pace.

There were far too many twists and turns, but while the overly complex plot was instantly forgettable, what lingers is the dynamic between the leads. 

A sequel (hopefully with a tighter plot) wouldn't be such an horrendous prospect. 

Cast

Denzel Washington -Robert "Bobby" Trench

Mark Wahlberg - Michael "Stig" Stigman

Paula Patton - Deb Rees

Bill Paxton - Earl

Fred Ward - Admiral Tuwey

James Marsden - Harold "Harvey" Quince

Edward James Olmos - Papi Greco

Robert John Burke - Jessup

Doris Morgado - Daisi

Kick Ass 2 - The Review

I enjoyed the original Kick Ass three years ago, and the prospect of a sequel was welcome at the time.

However, I wondered if writer/director Matthew Vaughn and writer Jane Goldman would be on board for the follow up.

The good news is they are in a producing capacity, while writer/director Jeff Wadlow is obviously channelling the manic intensity that made the original so refreshing.

In fact the lack of pretense and sombreness that dominated films such as The Wolverine and The Dark Knight Rises makes this a welcome breath of fresh air.

Aaron Taylor Johnson and Chloe Grace Moretz are once more fantastic as the eponymous hero (Dave Lizewski) and Hit Girl (Mindy Macready) respectively.

Alas, student by day, viral Internet vigilante in a scuba suit by night, Dave seems to have learned little from the original movie; he still gets hit a lot by generic villains. 

Meanwhile, Hit Girl is still a whirling dervish of energy, and foul language. And like an arch criminal, steals the movie both as the lethal purple assassin and as the confused teen trying to adapt in a world of ’plastics’ at high school. 

Christopher Mintz Plasse attempts to bring a view fresh licks to his role as a villain, but once more comes across as just annoying and spoiled. Okay, that is the point, but I wish he'd shown a little more depth. 

Then there is Jim Carrey as the head of the vigilantes who slots into Nicolas Cage's role from film one as the patriarch character - a God-fearing, gun-hating, dog-wielding anti hero, who also takes an early bath half way through the movie.

I can understand Carrey's reluctance to promote the movie after the Sandy Hook massacre. At times Kick Ass 2 does seem to glorify violence, but this is comic book carnage, and the over-the-top tone is no different to the original film. 

For the most part, Kick Ass 2 is a lot of fun; violent, foul-mouthed, hedonistic fun reminiscent of Ben Stiller’s effort Mystery Men... with a lot more blood. 

Colourful, subversive and a little unhinged. 

In a film market dominated by superhero flicks, it's good to see Brit movies poking fun at the genre. 

It also proves you don't need to spend $100m to make a great superhero movie. 

At $28m, this was far more enjoyable than snoozefest Green Lantern, or Chris Nolan's impressive but overblown offerings The Dark Knight Rises and Man of Steel. 

Star-spotters should look out for reliable British supporting actors Stephen Mackintosh and (Alan Partridge's love interest) Monica Dolan as the costumed vigilantes ’Remembering Tommy’, a duo looking for their missing son, and Andy (Dead Set) Nyman as barely recognisable villain The Tumor. 

It's not perfect by any means. Some ropey special effects during a truck chase let the side down, but unlike some bigger budget comic book efforts which tend to follow the same formula of ’explain hero origins; villain executes deadly plan, face-off against boss monster’, this is mostly an engaging, adrenalised mix of Mean Girls and Watchmen. 

The plot sees Dave Lizewski/Kick-Ass join a team of fellow vigilantes called Justice Forever, while falling for sexy team member (with perfect abs) Night-Bitch (Lindy Booth). 

 

Meanwhile, at the behest of her guardian, Mindy Macready retires her Hit-Girl alter ego, and spoiled gangster's son Chris D'Amico becomes the world's first super-villain (this time sporting an Oedipal moniker instead of his original Red Mist).  

Seeking vengeance for the death of his dad, Chris recruits his own gang, including androgynous ’Dolph Lundgren in Rocky IV mode’ antagonist Mother Russia (Olga Kurkulina). 

No super villain would be complete without an evil lair, in this case boasting a Damien Hirst-style shark in a tank, which forms the backdrop for the showdown. 

The first two acts are pretty engaging, but things tend to drag on too long, so by the third chunk you are ready to go way before the closing credits roll.

Kick Ass 3 is inevitable, and bound to centre on an adult Mindy and Dave. 

Not such a bad prospect. If those two don't eventually get together, there is no justice in the movies, comic book or otherwise. 

Guardians of the Galaxy

What on Earth is Full Tilt?
Interesting turn of phrase. It's Marvel’s megabucks new fantasy adventure with Karen Gillan.

So, a bit like Dr Who then?
Not quite. She's bald.

Who else is in it?
Glenn Close, Zoe Saldana and apparently Vin Diesel’s voice.

Will it be any good?
Obviously too early to tell. Disney bosses are hoping it does Avengers-style box office numbers to make up for epic Lone Ranger misfire. They also hope it's nothing like John Carter. Another misfire.

Who's directing it?
James Gunn.

Who?
He directed fun, icky B movie Slither a few years ago and comic book inspired Super.

Is he any good?
If you like fun epic B movies.

So, Full Tilt. Interesting title.
We’ll be honest. It's not actually called that.

Really? What's the real title?
Guardians of the Galaxy.

Okay. So Marvel banked millions on a movie few have any interest in?
Yes and no.
The original Guardians of the Galaxy first appeared in Marvel Super-Heroes #18 back in January 1969.

So those are the characters we see in the movie?
Major Vance Astro, Martinex T'Naga, Captain Charlie-27, and Yondu Udonta?
Yes

No. This is based on a revamped version from a few years ago, though we imagine there will be the odd in joke for fans of the original.

So why make a film now?
Avengers proved that space fantasy puts bums on seats in the Marvel universe. And there's less expectation. If it fails, Marvel may blame a lack of audience recognition in the brand and press on with another safe Spider-Man movie after Amazing Spider-Man 2, before rebooting that again.

Will GoG be connected to Avengers?
Yes. Zoe Saldana's character is apparently related to Thanos.

Who?
That purple alien in the closing credits of Joss Whedon's movie that some of the fan boys and girls pretended they knew but didn't.


Why are exotic looking people running across the Millennium Bridge?
We guess its because they're on the run from bad guys.

Not because they're fans of that Harry Potter movie featuring the same bridge?
No. Though maybe they are. We don't know what they watch on their planet.

Will Galaxy chocolate feature in the movie?
We doubt it.

Will a clip be featured in one of those ’cookies’ I sit through the endless credits for.
Most definitely.

When?
Possibly Thor: The Dark World or Captain America: Winter Soldier.

Is this the film with a Raccoon character in it?
Yes.

Sounds a bit daft doesn't it?
Hey, it's a comic book movie. You know, for kids.

Yes, but even so. Is it aimed at five-year-olds?
No. Though we imagine they want to see it.

Can we expect a load more ’out there’ Marvel movies?
Possibly. Now that Iron Man, Spider-Man, Thor and Cap have proved bankable commodities, Marvel are taking a few risks with lesser known material.

So things like classic comics Doctor Strange and a Silver Surfer movie?
We can but hope.

And a proper Fantastic Four film?
Hopefully. That's being rebooted now.

And Howard the Duck?
Don't hold your breath.

Who plays who?
Chris Pratt: Peter Quill/Star-Lord.
Zoe Saldana: Gamora, adopted daughter of Thanos.
Dave Bautista: Drax the Destroyer.
Lee Pace: Ronan the Accuser.
Michael Rooker: Yondu.
Karen Gillan: Nebula.
Djimon Hounsou:Korath.
Benicio del Toro: The Collector.
John C. Reilly: Rhomann Dey.
Glenn Close: Nova Prime.

Now I know all this, will The Big Bang Theory make lots of hip cross references?
Doubtful. Unless Guardians was a DC Comic.

Can I see a clip?
Sure, go here:

http://youtu.be/GMvbPd0R-eE









August 11, 2013, Millennium Bridge London.
If you liked the sight of Millennium Bridge under attack from Dementors, then watch and Marvel as lots of worried folks run across it for their 2014 blockbuster Guardians of the Galaxy.
No sign of a bald Karen Gillan alas.